Facial Hair Wars

While Jared's facial hair has nothing to do with The Honeybaby, I wanted her to have a record of the torment her father puts me through on a regular basis.  Jared and I made a deal sometime back that if I allowed him to spend $400 on a piece of computer equipment he had to shave and do his hair every weekday.  He's pretty good about holding up his end of the bargain, although their have been some slip-ups, especially lately.  He claimed he was out of shaving cream and rather than driving the two miles to Target to get it, he let his sparse facial hair grow out into a gross "beard".  I use the term "beard" lightly because you can't really call it a beard.  It's just...well...it's just gross.  Anyway...he got shaving cream last night and when I saw the razor and cream on the sink this morning I figured he'd shaved.  When I got home from picking up Kathryn from daycare and running to the grocery store, Jared met us out front with a big grin on his face.  I immediately shouted, "What the hell is that on your face?"  I was gazing upon a perfectly manicured goatee.  This goatee took time and effort and for someone who says he has no time to shave, he spent a good deal of time on this masterpiece.  Now, the goatee is my one of my least favorite styles of facial hair, second only to the dreaded mustache.  After my exclamation, he says, "You wouldn't believe what happened to me today!"  I kept repeating, "What the hell is that?", obviously traumatized by the whole ordeal.  Once inside, he proceeds to tell me how the goatee came to be.  He claimed while on the way to work there was a large flash of light (due to the storm this morning) and the truck was struck my lightning.  He points to his face and says, "This is what happened after the truck was struck."  I just glared at him, telling him I was not amused and did not find the situation the least bit humorous.  He was pretty proud of himself.  I was just annoyed.  I think I'll stop shaving my arm pits in retaliation.   

The Goatee